IV. Making It Happen
Two Categories of Men and the Immigration Analogy
What’s the benefit of being a U.S. citizen? Well, in theory there are many advantages – access to government benefits, suffrage, certain inalienable rights guaranteed by our Constitution and….you can’t get deported. Fuck up on American soil and you’ll get thrown in the slammer, but you won’t get sent to a foreign country. It’s the same with women.
There are only two types of men, in women’s eyes: those they’ve slept with and those they haven’t. Only those men who have legitimately been inside a woman have true citizenship. The others may be resident aliens, green card holders, or straight illegals, and they all run the risk of permanent removal if they fuck up. This is helpful to know because it makes getting sexual with a woman quickly key if you want access to her soil in the future. And getting close doesn’t count. You can be fifty yards off shore in a dingy (hand-job), running through the border zone north of Mexico (fingering), sitting in a way-station at JFK (cunnilingus) – Fuck, you can be working as an illegal in North Florida (just the tip) – but if you don’t have legitimate land rights, you can always be deported. Only natural citizens have claim to the soil.
In truth, there’s a third category that trumps the first two – baby daddy – but I’m not writing for that audience and I don’t want to stretch the analogy. The point is that once you’ve slept with a woman you’re in a different category. She will hear you out, take your call, meet with you, give you the benefit of the doubt, grant you access to her soil. This is true in general, but some women here in NYC – hustlers in their own right – have cut me off, nonetheless, so there are no guarantees. But, there’s something that undoubtedly happens to a woman once she’s had sex with a bloke. He’s been promoted in her company, somehow.
Touchy, Feely
Most men somehow get a woman alone in a comfortable setting, but then they freeze up: “You mean I have to invade her space and put my mouth on her?” Yes, that’s right. If you want to fuck women, you need to develop that precious commodity called physical comfort. Women have tremendous powers of intuition and they’ll know if you are shy, hesitant, nervous, etc. For a woman, the best aphrodisiac is a man who is comfortable with his physical self, and can playful handle a woman. This means touching, nuzzling, cuddling, laughing together (clothed or not), hugging, smooching, whispering sweet-nothings, etc. Most women have an innate sense of physical comfort – they are, for the most part, sensual creatures. A man needs to know this and he needs to become part of their physical reality immediately. If you don’t do this right-off, you will build a virtual wall of “personal space” around each other that may be hard to breach. I know some of you may think, “Well, when we haven’t touched, then the tension builds. So, when we do, it’s electric!” That sometimes holds true, but more often, the man gets too nervous and abandons his prey or lunges and bites her lip off, freaking her out. I’d say that it’s much more comfortable and easy to establish physical rapport straight off. In the seduction community it’s called “kino.”
Never shake a woman’s hand, unless you know you’re not interested in her, sexually. Instead, give a nice, full hug and a kiss on the cheek when you meet for the first time. If they insist on a hand-shake, I will give them a pound (fist). The hand-shake is so professional and registers you as an “associate” or “colleague” which is shit energy for sex. If she gives you one of those “have-a-nice-life” hugs – you know the kind, one elbow forward, ass out, tap on the back – call her out on it and bring her in for a full embrace. You have to break her self-image of austerity and female independence right away or you both won’t have any fun.
The more women you have in your life, the more comfortable you’ll become with physical closeness on a casual basis. In its extreme, you can be fully naked within ten minutes (or less) of meeting a girl and be perfectly comfortable. It’s quite liberating. After breaking through her bullshit with a nice hug in which you demonstrate you feel nice and that you’re not a physical threat, keep the physical closeness going, but in a casual way. This isn’t sexual, at all. It’s more like tussling with a cute golden retriever. Some rubs, here and there, a tap on the bootie, a little brush of the lips on the neck. Pull her in to whisper something – it doesn’t matter what – just to show her you can be close in a non-sexual way. As you sustain this playful contact as you walk through the park, museum, wherever, she will feel comfortable with you as a fellow animal of the same species. This is why dinner and coffee dates inevitably suck. You can demonstrate nothing but your manners and appetite. After sitting across from a woman for an hour of eating, you’ve demonstrated nothing worthwhile to her. Think about it.
Most dates should involve locomotion of some sort. Walking is ideal, and warm weather makes it a nice date. Walking is good for the above reason, but also because you have a constant stream of new experiences on which to comment, “Do you ride the bus to work?”, “Have you eaten there?”, “I used to shop in that boutique, but with the dollar so weak…” So, if you want to hang out with a woman, grab a cup of coffee and take her for a walk. Don’t sit with her unless it’s somewhere private/semi-private and on a couch where you can cuddle and be close. Any other situation increases alienation. You think you’re putting in “face time” but unless you’re really charming, you could be doing the opposite, increasing the sense that you two are, in fact, merely strangers.
The real benefit of all this, despite the fun of rough-housing with a hottie, is that when you’re back at your apartment, you don’t have to “make a move.” You made it already, when you hugged her upon meeting. Now, with the lights dim, the music on, and her by your side, it just happens naturally. She may even drive it. You’ve become part of her physical reality; when she gets turned on she feels entitled to you. Isn’t that nice?
Aggression and the Theme of Penetration
This is a delicate subject. I didn’t write Getting Raped in NYC. But, I also think that the emasculation of the American male is at an all-time high. Whatever the causes may be – women’s lib, decreasing relative earning power of the American male, a litigious society, a general political correctness that makes everyone suspect – it’s a fact that men are hesitant like never before to exercise their natural dominance when it comes to women. This is pathetic.
The final act of sexual intercourse is one of penetration. What women want, ultimately, is to be fully penetrated – mind, body, soul. And sex is a crucial part of this process. In the act of passionate lovemaking we, as men, repeatedly penetrate a woman at her core. Again and again, harder and harder. Thrusting – holding her tightly so we can get deeper.
How do we arrive at this desired state?
- Sex is the culmination of a series of smaller, subtle, negotiated penetrations – of time, thought, intent and agenda.
Don’t think you’re going to have sex with a woman – which is an agreed upon violation (think hymen) – without driving through some resistance. The key here is to know when you can’t move forward, and when you can negotiate an incremental advance. Negotiation happens in many verbal and non-verbal ways.
Verbal negotiation is the weakest form, but sometimes it’s all we’ve got in a particular situation. Physical negotiation is the strongest form, because we’re stronger and if done correctly it demonstrates your masculinity in a way that arouses her body. Financial negotiation is effective, but it rarely turns her on. That’s the problem with the rich dude/hot chick pairing. Emotional negotiation is called manipulation and it can do a lot of damage. AVOID IT. This takes the form of saying, “I love you,” when you don’t, trying to leverage a friendship into a sexual relationship, any type of blackmail, such as being a family friend who “deserves it,” etc.
The thing to internalize here is that as a man you must penetrate her, many times and on many fronts, before you penetrate her genitals. The best players can collapse this process into an hour or so, but that takes knowledge, practice and clarity of purpose. You can develop these things with time and effort, if it’s important to you.
Sexual tension arises out of polarity, as David Deida repeatedly makes clear in his fantastic book The Way of the Superior Man. Don’t be afraid to use the magnetism you feel toward a woman; just use it responsibly. As you drive the relationship forward, either on the scale of minutes or months, remember that your duty is to be an aggressor and continue to penetrate her feminine layers. Each time you challenge her opinion, decline an offer or suggestion, act independently, make a decision or overrule her objection, you are penetrating her. She will be turned on by this and draw closer to you mentally, emotionally and physically. The more you lovingly penetrate her, the tighter the dynamic becomes and stronger the polarity becomes. Until sexual union, your role is to penetrate everything about this beautiful woman.
To give some anecdotal weight to my assertions, let me relate a story or two. Several weeks ago, I met a girl out for a bite. She was with friends and I wanted a burger at this joint. I know this runs counter to all my advice, but the caveat is that she had been over to my house two days prior, had come into bed and we’d made out. Unfortunately, despite being turned on (I found out later) she flew the coop. Upon reflection, she decided she wanted it. I was getting off late from tutoring and she was at a bar/burger joint that serves one of the best burgers in the city. As I was eating, we chatted and I snuck in a few kisses. Then, getting ready to leave, she weakly protested that she was going to go home to her friends. Ridiculous, and her actions signaled the exact opposite, but I played my role. She asked if I was going to be a “gentleman” – they say this to hear themselves say it, so they can satisfy that cortex of their mind that says, “Don’t be an easy slut.” I told her I’d be, “moderately well-behaved.” That satisfied her. She wants a man, for God’s sake. We were all over each other in the cab and the clothes came off immediately upon apartment entry. She was an incredibly sensual and giving lover. I still see her.
The point is, women actually want and expect aggression from their men. It just has to be done right.
Castle and Kingdom
So, she’s on her way over – your plan is working perfectly. In general, don’t communicate with a girl if the plan is in motion. “Checking in,” on her to make sure she’s coming is a sign of doubt and weakness, and it also makes it easier for her to back out. Let your plan come to fruition.
When she arrives at the front door of your apartment (or home, for those brothers who have been working diligently for years) you have a good shot at scoring. You want your place to position you in the best possible way and play to all your strengths.
Lighting
First, the don’ts: no overhead lighting and no fluorescent lights. Ideally, you want to have a dimmer connected to a single, incandescent bulb in a lampshade that creates diffuse light. Mood lighting is crucial because it…well, it creates the mood. Don’t underestimate the power of a suggestive environment. Jailhouses have bars and a certain type of lighting, restaurants evoke a different mood, and gyms another mood altogether. Each setting is designed to motivate a specific activity, and plenty of analysts work to make each atmosphere the most conducive to a particular outcome. You need to be the analyst of your lounge area at home. Your desired outcome is sex (I presume) and the mood needs to reflect that. So, get a dimmer and a nice incandescent bulb. The dimmer allows you to turn the lights down a notch each time you pass the switch on your way to the bathroom or fridge. A dim, comfortable room will work wonders on your girl’s imagination. And, women will appreciate the effort you’ve invested to create a sexy atmosphere.
Candles should be lit before she arrives. You can get a nice 3-candle set in a wooden bowl with polished stones. I paid $9.99 for mine at Walgreens. Avoid scented candles; they’re carcinogenic and you’ll choke on the soot when you extinguish them at the end of the night. Your lighting therefore, should be part electrical, part paraffin and as you dim the bulb, the candles will do the lion’s share of romantic lighting.
Music
“Silence is golden.”
Whoever said that wasn’t getting laid frequently. “Silence is awkward,” is a better proverb. Even with girls with whom I’m comfortable, I often still prefer music if we’re hanging out, having sex. Definitely, on first approach, you should have some music piping through. And don’t be afraid of volume. A good playlist, at adequate volume, will do 60% of the heavy lifting for you.
Have the music playing when she comes in. Imagine you are her. She’s walking in about 9 or 10 at night, and some very groovy, sexy music is playing, a great guy is there to receive her and the lighting is dim and suggestive. It will allow her to relax and become sensual. What you are creating, and it’s a bit of an art, is a sensual atmosphere in which the sexual is possible.
You don’t know where she’s just been. She may have just come from a cacophonic restaurant, or an annoying cab ride, or a loud subway car with bright overhead fluorescent lighting. Since you are the seducer, it’s your duty to quickly wipe her mental slate clean and introduce a new mood. She’ll thank you after. Who doesn’t like a sensual experience?
Temperature
If the goal is to get the girl undressed, make sure your place is warm enough. Keeping the temperature up will make everyone more comfortable and it will put the idea of disrobing in her head.
Furniture
Where do you work best? The floor, a leather chair, a daybed, the traditional mattress? I live in a miniscule apartment so my single life has been an experiment in improvisation. Recently, I’ve found that I can throw a plush faux-fur rug on the ground and scatter some pillows around. With Sade playing on the computer and a set of tiered candles burning on the bureau, it’s an ideal setting for sex. This floor set-up came out of difficulty I was having getting these girls up into my loft bed. I have a queen mattress spread out in front of a flat-screen TV, so definitely comfortable, but I came to realize it presented a psychological hurdle.
Because I move quickly and women are often in my dim apartment after only having chatted with me for a minute on the street and exchanged a few texts, they may not be ready to sell themselves on the concept of sex. This is an important point. If you’re going to drive the date smoothly, but inexorably, towards sex (which I hope you do) then she may find herself confronted by the possibility of sex rather quickly. I’ve found that women think on at least two levels, perhaps the traditional conscious and subconscious mind. They may be at your place late in the evening and there’s sexy music on and it’s dark except for some candles. Obviously, you’re trying to seduce her, and she knows this. But on a more conscious level she may tell herself that you’re “just hanging out,” trying to get to know each other. It’s that more superficial, conscious, immediate mind which must be sold on the concept of having sex with you. And that’s where furniture is important.
Your furniture and the lay-out of your room should be conducive to smooth transitions from, “Hi, how’ve you been?” at the door, to, “God, you smell great!” whispered behind the ear on the divan, to, “I can’t believe how wet you are!” exhaled in anticipation as she reclines on the daybed. Anything that makes the sexual escalation obvious will work against you. You can take the most sexually excited woman in the world and take her out of the moment into a logistical situation – “Let’s get our clothes, move down the hall, and go into my bedroom.” – and she’ll reconsider what she’s doing. All your work will come crashing down in the neurotransmitting cascade of left-brain analytics. Don’t sabotage yourself. If there’s any place to spend a little extra money it’s here, on the seduction environment. I have a friend who does very well and he’s got a large one-bedroom apartment on the Westside. He has a standard play, which involves getting the girl sitting on a very comfy daybed and then transitioning into cuddling and then touching and then kissing and then… He has sex with lots of girls and almost never takes them into his bedroom.
You know the expression, “The moment has passed.”? Your job is to strike while that moment is happening. Poor furniture will prevent your success, I guarantee it.
Surfaces
I’ve had sex in the Mediterranean Sea, on bathroom countertops, car seats, taxi cabs, a leather chair, in the park, in the shower, on rooftops, in the back of a Suburban and, of course, in beds. The surface on which you have sex determines a good deal about whether the act is satisfying, or not. Leverage, traction, and comfort all come into play. At the moment, I have three possibilities in my tiny apartment: a big leather chair, a Queen-size mattress on a loft bed and the wood floor, covered with a faux-fur rug. Each has its advantages.
The chair allows for a variation on missionary style, with the woman’s legs wide apart and over the arms of the chair. This is good for a feeling of domination, and grabbing the back of the chair allows for deeper thrusting. Also, she can spin around and get into doggie position. This is also good, because her ass is nice and high in the air. Ambitious lovemakers can even squat on the arms themselves, entering her from behind, thus penetrating from above. The chair does have some disadvantages, among them the limited number of positions (3) and the relative fatigue involved for the male lover. My legs often get tired when I have sex on the chair – unless I’m sitting and she lowers herself onto me.
The bed, with which most readers will be familiar, is a standard location for sex. It has all the comforts and accommodations you’ve come to expect. Unfortunately, I find the bed doesn’t allow for the leverage a hard floor can provide. In addition, if you have a lot of partners, bringing them into your sleeping quarters can get messy. The strands of hair, crumbs from God-knows-where, and spit, ejaculate and menstrual blood builds up after a while, requiring constant sheet changing. Better to keep the bed for sleeping and for intimacy with a real girlfriend.
The floor, which I’ve used over the years, has taken on a central role in my activities as of late. It has the firmness and stability to provide a good working surface. With a comfy faux-fur rug, everyone’s comfortable, and there’s a slight amount of kink associated with being at floor level. Also, if you want to get on your feet, squatting over her for more control and power, you can do so; your feet will be planted on terra firma instead of on the spongy, wobbliness of the mattress. Also, as I mentioned earlier, lying her down on the floor doesn’t have the obviousness of leading her into the bedroom and it’s more spontaneous.
Condom Placement
My closing act is constantly evolving. I’ve got it down to a science by now, with the use of a faux-fur rug, big overstuffed pillows and Sade. However, a constant challenge is condom placement and procurement. In the heat of the moment the woman will often yield to your tongue, fingers and warm breath on her neck. Everything is cheeky and she’s stripped naked and you’re ready. Where are the condoms? Shit.
That move can easily cost you the whole enterprise. If you do all of your work in the same place, then have a nice amount within arm’s reach, no further. Even ten feet away is too far. Once you’ve taken your body off hers, or your fingers from inside her, she could snap back to “rational thinker” and kybosh the whole event. That’s happened to me and friends several times. At the best, you may come back from getting the condoms to find she’s got her trousers up and is checking her text messages. Think about that for a minute. She’s signaled that it’s over; her mind is now engaged in something analytic after you’ve been seducing her into a sensual mindset for over an hour, and your dick is limp. All because you didn’t have condoms at hand. Good luck recreating the conditions of two minutes ago.
If you are a Tarzan fucker and bounce all over the room, then have packets of 2-3 condoms strategically located at each spot. Conceal them if necessary.
Condoms in the Act – Durex vs. Trojan
I thought God created all condoms equal. I was wrong. It took the loss of a hot 22 year-old Texan girl to teach me a valuable lesson. I’m imparting it to you here so you don’t have to sacrifice a young girl to find this out for yourself: Durex condoms (and surely many other types) are impossible to open if your fingers are covered in spit, pussy juice, and/or lube. There’s nothing more frustrating than having a willing girl with her legs open in front of you while you try desperately to fumble with a slimy wrapper that you can’t tear. I tried my teeth. I grabbed a new one in a fresh wrapper. I asked her for help. Nothing helped. I just sat there like an idiot while my erection faded, and her doubt grew. After that fiasco (no, I didn’t fuck her) I swore off Durex for life. Recounting the story the next day to my buddy he only laughed, saying that it was common knowledge that the foil wrappers on Trojans are the best in the business: easy to tear open under any conditions. So, ditch your Durex and buck up for some Trojans. They may be a bit more expensive, but they’re worth it and you can’t put a price on forfeited pussy.
Now What? (Getting Her Naked)
If there were a standard protocol for getting a girl on her back, naked, legs open and ready for sex, the guy who documented it would be an instant millionaire. Every guy in the world who struggles with that last few feet of the road – in other words, all single men – could use some pointers. Overcoming “last minute resistance” as the seduction community has labeled it, is a crucial part of the game. You may do everything perfectly, but if you don’t have good technique in those last few moments you’ll emerge empty-handed. The good news is that once you are inside of her, you’ve crossed a threshold; she’s unlikely to stop you at that point.
Given that necessity is the mother of invention, I’ve had to learn the art of the quick close, given my circumstances: little money, no job, tiny apartment, no dinner, etc. I usually get one shot with these women and I better fuck them or there’s no repeat showing. The way a woman’s mind works in this regard limits my timeframe; they decide afterward that I’m not a suitable “partner” so if I haven’t had sex with them it’s a wasted opportunity. I get nothing, they get everything, which for them, is enough information to make a decision about the long-term potential of the relationship. So, my compromising (and hopefully temporary) situation has benefited me and now will benefit you. It’s been a unique experiment in honing the fast, free close.
So what do you do to take it to the hoop? First of all, the positioning has to be right. You need access to her neck, lips and crotch. Some positions that work: you sitting on an ottoman and she on a couch/chair immediately in front (the Shoe Salesman, we call it), both lying down side by side, spooning, sitting next to her with arm over the back of a deep-seated couch/daybed. Presumably, there are other positions that work, but if you’re looking to be smooth, avoid angled appendages, arms akimbo and cramped movement.
The key to closing effectively is having established physical rapport at some earlier point. It may be enough to chat with her and touch her arm and thigh a bit. Or, you may have been walking, with your arm around her shoulders or waist. The point, as I’ve made before, is that if she’s already comfortable with you – if you’re part of her physical reality – then you’ve almost won the game.
The key to the lips below: the lips above. Once you’ve got comfortable positioning, the music is just right, your cell phone is silent, and the candles are casting shadows on the wall, a nice kiss, grazing her lips a bit and then moving in for a deeper, wetter kiss, will advance your proposition significantly. Good kissing can get a girl to do things of which her mother would not be proud.
Arching back, squirming, thighs wrapping and unwrapping, heavy breathing – all green lights. Coughing, laughing, muscular resistance, mace – red lights. A hand wrapped around the nape of the neck allowing you to angle her head so the “O” of her mouth meets yours is always a nice technique.
Remember, you have two hands. In the beginning, some light tummy rubbing and slight thigh/crotch grazing can announce your intentions, getting her wet for what’s to come. Palm on tummy is a nice, comforting, affectionate move. If I’m lying down, I often find that pinning her far arm back is nice (with my arm outstretched behind her head). It gives me control and she likes the domination. Don’t hurt her; just enough so she feels your strength. If you have one of her arms pinned back and her other one is immobile, you can reach for what both of you want: to feel her wetness. Slide a hand inside her jeans and feel her. Most women will be soaking by now. If needed, take a generous about of spit from your mouth (for some reason girls never have much spit, unless they’re giving head, and even then not always) and carry it down to her pussy, applying liberally to the outside labia.
Be gentle with her flower. Only inexperienced college guys repeatedly jam their fingers into a woman. You can tell how turned on a woman is by how viscous her juices are and how much she’s excreting. Another telltale sign: hard nipples. Though nipples get hard for many reasons, so that can be a red herring. I’ve found, after logging considerable hours with the female form, that “cupping” the outside of the pelvic region and playing with folds of her labia with all fingers in an upward sweeping motion feels very good to her (and it turns me on). Don’t neglect her mouth. Saliva, properly used, is your accomplice. Use it to break the vault.
The nape of the neck and the roots of her hair on the back of her head are sensitive. A business partner once remarked that pulling hair excites women for evolutionary purposes – Neanderthal men would drag women back to the cave before violating them. I find a nice firm grasp on a tuft of hair close to the scalp allows me to turn her head towards my mouth, making her available.
A position that I find very good, operationally, is the following. It works well on a girl with whom you’re naked for first time, since you don’t know what she’s willing to do or what she’s into, sexually. Have her lying naked (or with panties) in front of you. Imagine she’s your worktable. You can be on your knees to her side, so that you’re positioned about mid torso. Since you’re cock is at attention now (it better be!) you have options. You can finger her gently with one hand, kiss her easily since you’re mouth is close to hers, fondle her breasts and run your other hand through her hair. Also, your cock is close to her face, so you can encourage a blow-job. If she’s going to oblige that night, it’s going to happen right here. After she gets you nice and hard, grab a condom and get to work. Work the front, inside wall of the vagina by coming from below and aiming up. She can even lift her hips in missionary to help. This rubs the sponge-like tissue on the front of her vaginal wall – the G-spot. She’ll really enjoy it and the two of you can build together, keeping rhythm, hoping in the escalation neither one of you comes first. Fun!
A final word about being sexually forceful. Clearly, we don’t want to rape a woman because it’s damaging to her and we’ll go to jail where we’ll be raped. But, the tension created by resistance and persistence is very sexually exciting to both man and woman. I had sex two days ago with a Puerto Rican girl who is very cute. But, we’ve had sex a few times, and our energy is off. I don’t want to pounce on her when she comes through the door, nor does she work up into a sexual glow when we’re in bed. The sex is good, though, but mostly because she’s got a nice figure and our mechanics are fluid. So, the other day she comes over, takes off her jeans and lies down on the faux-fur rug, legs apart, pussy open. I was there in my boxers. Granted it was the afternoon and light was streaming into my apartment, but the whole scene was not sexy. I got a hard on by jerking off and rubbing myself on her lips, but it took some effort. As I said, the sex was good. The point is that we had no sexual tension so the foreplay (or lack thereof) was flat. It’s much more exciting to struggle with a resistant woman and feel her yield, little-by-little as she realizes she’s dealing with a sexual juggernaut. As her excitement builds and you don’t relent, she’ll get so wet (and you so hard) that when you finally enter her it will be nirvana.
This has to do with a fact that isn’t obvious to men: women get most turned on by the anticipation of sex. The reason she’s so wet and willing to let you continue after she’s resisted multiple times is that it turns her on. She knows what’s coming and her imagination – conscious, subconscious, physical – builds to the point where her body is fully sexualized, ready for penetration. I’ve been lying next to woman without making a move for thirty minutes and then when I reach down it’s a river between her legs. She’s been in gear the whole time, craving my touch, but unwilling to ask for it directly.
Let me repeat, because I’ve had trouble with this recently: when alone with your girl, turn off your cell phone or set it to silent. From experience, let me tell you there’s nothing more distracting than trying to work a girl and having a series of incoming text messages from other women beeping on your phone. Not only will this disrupt the intensifying mood you’re creating, but she may get wise to the fact that last night she was one of those incoming texts.
Issues of Respect
The adage, “Sleep with the guy right off and he won’t respect you.” goes back a long time. I was going to say Since time immemorial… but who knows. Anyhow, girls seem to believe (and mothers reinforce) this idea that sex and respect have a connection. My view is that respect can exist along many dimensions: I respect Jordan’s dunk, I respect U.S. military might, I respect Kasparov’s chess skills (perhaps more than his political maneuvers). A dumb female will not gain my respect by withholding sex; she’ll become an idiot I can’t bang.
I have had this discussion with women several times and they refuse to surrender their position under the onslaught of logical argument. Many are emotionally entrenched in the “holding out” philosophy. I have a friend who comes from a very successful family; his father screwed his mother in the elevator after their first date and they’ve been married for over thirty-five years. I was sexual with my last girlfriend immediately and we lived together happily for over two years. I see no evidence that a girl can “trap” a man by withholding sex, which is the real issue. Maybe on a desert island or in the backwoods somewhere, but in any city of considerable population a guy won’t put up with it unless a) he shares the principle or b) he really likes the girl for reasons beyond sex. In the case of b) he’d stick around even if she gave it away on the first night.
Ridiculous.
Next time a girl gives you that objection, ask her what she wants to be respected for and then point out none of those things are related to sex. Of course, if you’re trying to verbally negotiate with a girl, you’ve lost the battle.
Trying to Talk Your Way into It…
Girls rarely yield to verbal arguments. If you’re trying to outwit her, forget it. They do respond to physical assertiveness, meaning if you can turn them on, they’ll give in. So practice your kissing and hand maneuvers. Sensitive areas include the neck, behind the ears, the wrists. If you can get your hand inside a woman’s panties and she’s wet, you’re almost home. A woman loses control if you’re fingering her. Think about it: if a girl you weren’t into all of a sudden starting touching your dick and unzipped your fly, you’d probably let her proceed, wouldn’t you?